1. Vaguebooking. Status updates like “I can’t even.” or “All is lost.” If you’re feeling down and need some encouragement, say so. How hard is it to type “I’m having a bad day and need a laugh. And a hug.”?
2. My landline. The only people who call on this are politicians, telemarketers, and our parents. I keep it because I want the 911 capability and I worry that our cellphone will be misplaced or have a low battery, just when we need them most. And I think our parents would be convinced we were dead if we didn’t have a landline they could call. Every spam call that comes in makes me want to rip the cord from the wall.
3. The word “Privilege” after anything. White Privilege, Christian Privilege, Male Privilege, American Privilege… Ugh! Just stop already. To stick a label on someone and make assumptions about how easy their life has been based on gender or race is just wrong. You don’t know their story.
4. The ticker at the bottom of the news broadcasts. One cable news channel has a ticker below a ticker. How are we even supposed to read that?
5. The toenail fungus medicine commercial with the animated fungus character. I get chills just thinking about it.
6. Puppies for sale in the grocery store parking lot. The pound is bursting with dogs just days away from being killed, and you go and get your non-spayed mutt knocked up and then sell the puppies to God knows who in the grocery store parking lot?
7. People who litter. Especially when there is a trash can just steps away. Have you seen the YouTube videos of that guy on a motorcycle who picks up drivers’ litter and throws it back into their cars? My hero.
8. Crazy sports parents who yell at their kids.
9. The sound when someone sniffs and swallows, instead of blowing their nose. I have to concentrate on not gagging when I hear that.
10. Valentimes Day. If you don’t know what’s wrong with this, please don’t admit it to me.